100 MPH

Morning,

Well it is 1:05 am. Work was another seven hours of hell today. I got lucky again though and was put on the line. My throat hurts really bad and I have random cough attacks here and there. I still have to blow my nose with some frequency. I just want to lay down and wake with all my problems solved. (currently coughing up a lung and my throat. seriously feel like my tissue lining my throat is being pulled up. great not my nose is running and my eyes watering. you know how you feel like you need to keep coughing but it keeps getting worse? yeah, that's me right now. ouch my nose is getting raw from having to blow it so much.)

My coworker, a different one than Monday, brought me some chocolate and hard candies. If you're looking at the photo then you're looking at my dinner. I had made some soup right before work today, but I really wasn't wanting to eat. Work was pretty busy and thank goodness my supervisor let me go on break because the second I did, I burst out in tears. My mind has been going at 100 mph non stop for days now. It is exhausting and people probably think I am crazy. I didn't want to be around people on my break so I just stood in the back and let the tears flow. Guys, I think I really am going crazy.

It's only been three days since I communicated with Schatzi and I can't help but be scared of his words when I talk to him again. I am scared he will say that he enjoyed not having to text me during all his breaks or while he's getting ready for work, not having to listen to the negative things I may say, not having to feel the need to stay up for me to get home from work at night, etc. It's hard to imagine and I am trying to not guess at his words when they do come.

I really just want to be happy. Also would like this congestion issues to go away because I do not need this physical pain on top of everything else. Someone come take care of me! Not gonna happen, sadly. Work in the morning. The good thing about that is I get to be home at night with my family. The bad thing is that I won't be getting much sleep. Little price to pay for having a job, right? One day I will have weekends again. One day a lot will be different from now. I will just keep dreaming and hoping.

-ALG