Do You Like Your Job?

Hi again guys,

I hope you can excuse my absence. It's been a while ride. Randomly my work decided to give me today off which is odd because I always work Mondays. The original plan for the weekend was to invite Schatzi in hopes that he would be crazy enough to drive down two weekends in a row so we could hang out and have a small BBQ. Needless to say, that did not happen. my grandparents ended up coming over today. (Why must bad things always occur right before I have to see my grandparents?)

Seeing your grandparents should be a pleasant experience right? Normally it is, but for the last couple of years that has not been the case. After dinner today my grandma and I took the baby for a walk. I knew it was a bad idea to be alone with my grandma, but  I couldn't really avoid it. She asked me three times if I like my job. I know she was hoping my answer would magically change, but I kept telling her the same answer. I told her I love what I do but I just don't like all my coworkers. At least this time she didn't refer to my job as "that trade" again.

Since I left LensCrafters I only work four days a week instead of six days a week. This was supposed to be good for the relationship Schatzi and I had. I am still in the process of increasing my days at the salon so we will have to see how that works out. My grandma picked up on my working four days a week now and decided to ask me if I would be able to rent my own apartment and take care of myself. Of course I can't. Thank you for that lovely reminder. I get the point she was trying to make and I know she wants me to hurry up and go back to school, but I will go when I go. It really hurt me when she asked if I could basically afford life. To be honest it made me feel like $*@!. I know that I enjoy being a nail technician. I also know that I am proud of myself, even if it's hidden deep down inside, for pursuing my license as well as paying for it all on my own. That accomplishment is something that nobody can take away from me. Yet it is seen as next to nothing. It hurts. I wish that they could be more understanding of how I feel and what I have done over the last few years. I understand I am not their model first grandchild that they want to brag about, but I am still their grandchild.

As if that wasn't bad enough I was reminded that if I don't go to school I will need to pay rent to live at home. Which is fine, but every time it feels like a bit of a threat. Go to school or else you'll have to pay. Do you guys get what I am saying? Also I recently went to the dentist and was told I have four small cavities. I almost always have new cavities popping up. Many years ago it was due to me being too lazy or stubborn to floss or brush enough, but I brush with a regular toothbrush twice a day, brush with an electric toothbrush once a day, and floss once a day. I don't know what else I can do to prevent cavities. I even asked my dentist and he just shrugged. Turns out my dad wants me to pay for my fillings. I guess that is fair, but the thing is I had to hear it from my mom instead of directly through him.

I'm sorry guys. I just don't know who to talk to right now. I'm allowing my grandma's words to really get to me and it's suffocating me. That may have just been the straw that broke the camel's back. I'll be back at the salon tomorrow and I hope that reminds me how much I enjoy what I do. Even if I can't live on my own.

-ALG