Salmon

Evening,

The day didn't start very well. I woke shortly after 6 from bad dreams and when I got up I got to clean up dirty pads (my dog) in the restroom. My room was already extemely bright from the sun coming through my blinds so falling back asleep didn't sound appealing at all. I lay there for a good while and luckily I knocked back out for about an hour. I wish I could say the second time waking up was better than the first, but I woke again from bad dreams in a sweat, in a pain that is very difficult to describe (one from emotions almost like a ton of bricks on your chest and whole body I suppose), which was shortly followed by a nosebleed. Good times.

This is nothing like what I grew used to, but here it is. We looked out the window and cuddled. I bet she would love to be in that yard his dog has.

I spend half the day cleaning and the other half watching TV with my mom. I decided that I would run before dinner because I got some heart wrenching information. I was a mess of emotions so instead of crawling into a ball on my bed to cry I ran 3.5 miles at a 5mph speed. I was drenched in sweat. Even after sitting for over an hour after my run, my shirt was still wet. My dad made one of my favorite dishes, salmon with angel hair pasta, for dinner. I ate the whole piece of salmon which is usually twice as much as I would normally eat, but I am trying to get more protein into my diet. After sitting a bit after dinner I hopped back onto the treadmill for a short 1.5 mile jog at 4.5 to make today a whole five miles done. If only the results reflected how much I sweat and the pain I feel the next day. Upstairs I went to do a few floor exercises. You can't see too well in this photo, but if you look closely you can see the sweat dripping down my face. Pretty disgusting when I have my shirt plastered to my back, arms, shoulders, and chest as well as sweat dripping down my whole face into my eyes nose and mouth.


I am honestly surprised I made it through the day. My high school teacher reached out to me to see how I was doing and ask what had happened. It is tough to handle all the emotions I am feeling and the reality I am faced with, but to make things more difficult I am not back at work for another two weeks, my only friend I spent time with has moved up north ironically, and I feel alone. I can't believe it has only been a short period of time since he has done a 180. I mean I am glad that he is getting over everything so quickly, but at the same time I wish he wouldn't so I know I meant more to him. I'm off to sleep soon, but I am scared of what my sleep holds for me, but I can't stay awake forever.

-ALG